(14) The testimony continued: Finding the key.
Father passed on (away) at age 94 in 1989. Two of the aunts outlived him passed away at age 96 and 97 respectively. One aunt passed at 83 and mother who was the youngest of them was only 73 and died eight years before father (also before the aunts).
My work and my quest for Gods’ very highest for man continued. Over the years and with God using different Christians to be a help to me; new “heights were reached”. He can save a human in one day or over a long lifetime. The third person of the Trinity (God; Father, Son and Holy Spirit) the Holy Spirit; can introduce you to God in less than a day; so, as long as you are still alive continue in your quest to find and to be in God’s will. Of the seekers it is only those who want to be as great (or to know even better) than God, who miss their chance; because of wanting to be “great”.
Father passed away in August 1989. (Two aunts were still alive). Because of the spiritual work we continued there on the farm (during my early quest for the Lords’ best, father had sold the second farm).
The trading business and the farm came to a bumpy halt. A land –claim which stretched over years, aggravated; or even brought on; that “halt”. At the time I felt very sore about it; not being able to understand why God allowed such to happen even though we served Him. Today I can only thank Him. Unaware to myself; because of difficulties and because I had not yet realized the perfection (maturity) mentioned in Hebrews 6:1; and did not know the “rest” spoken of in Heb. 4:1; I was moving away from instead of towards God’s highest for me. (It is there; for any man/woman who wants God with a whole heart; and daily). God needed to coax me back.
The court-messenger (sheriff) came to us. A day later a relative; who we can’t remember ever having visited us before, and who was oblivious to what had happened; visited. When we heard that she was coming, we quickly borrowed the most necessary lounge furniture from a neighbor. We had a blessed time together and were able to point out eternal truths and to pray with her. That happened on a Saturday; two days later, that Monday, she passed on to Eternity. My wife and I thereby had our first lesson not to become despondent when God has to “hit hard” to get us back “into line” and we were encouraged.
The farm had four portions and a portion was bought by friends (at a price determined by a valuator) so that we could stay and continue with the work there; the rest went to the land-claim. It saved us from having to go through an embarrassing sale of execution.
Then in 2006 my back gave in; now and again I experienced total loss of feeling in my legs and would just collapse in a heap. The specialist Dr I was sent to, advised; an operation without delay. He asked me whether I would be able to pay the hospital; pay him and also other specialists who would be involved.
I explained to him that I had no medical aid insurance but that I worked for God and that I would pray for the funds; adding that I believed it should work out, (I believed that God would answer). It was to me a huge sum and most of it had to be deposited before the operation. There was one month for me to prepare, and I visited the same Christian missionary who helped me the very first time with my first session of confessing my sin (and so often after that). He prayed earnestly with me. God heard and supplied; even for the accounts which still arrived over and above the specialist’s first calculation.
The operation took place. After the operation I had to spend six months lying in bed; during which I had to be visited by a Dr every week.
It was God’s way of making my quest for Him to become even more earnest. He had planned this before creating the world by working out the sanctification (before the creation) as mentioned already and found in Ephesians 1 v 4.
Over the next twelve years my work involved mainly counseling people and while doing so I often had the experience of knowing that God was present (while I was listening to Individuals; praying with them; giving them advice, or explaining His way and plan to them). It hardly occurred to me that there can be another “step” towards God. I knew up to: “confess and make right (restitution where possible) all your sins”.
One matter however bothered me; that was that old Christians who had realized the better way; of confessing their sin before a believing person; would come again and again with the same sins. Even I myself was subject to experiencing such in myself (Like: “I was irritated with so and so” or “I had wrong feelings of such and such a nature when seeing so and so”) and it bothered me. I did try my very best to work on it and to reduce the incidences; but not being quite sure that I was succeeding. For a long time I thought; “We must try harder”. (I did not reveal to those who came for help that I myself was not completely sure that I was without a problem; because they would have thought: “How can a hypocrite help me”?) Now this is how God helped me myself: